if you like me you must not know who I am
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
