yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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