they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
