Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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