i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
