i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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