we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
