it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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