Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
