The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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