matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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