dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize