I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
