We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
