How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
