Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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