brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
