dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
