Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
love makes seman taste better
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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