i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
