you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
