Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
