its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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