youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Randomize
