theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
