We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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