i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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