Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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