Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
