I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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