Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
