My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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