You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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