Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
