I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
