Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
