I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize