I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
