He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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