Jerry, you need to find god
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
