You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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