he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize