You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
