Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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