Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
