Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
