last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
