Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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