she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
