I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
