So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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