I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
