I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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