paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
