Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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