the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Randomize
