If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
