Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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