Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize