i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
