brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
