you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
