why didn't you poke me back
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
