I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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