So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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