I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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