you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
