While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize
