Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize