East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
