Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
