I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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